An addiction worth dropping

As college students, most of you have gone through the break up, the never ending confused state of mind where day after day you are zombified, staring blankly in a coma-like state or the intense burning feeling that rushes you with anger when you finally see their face after the longest three days ever without a chat or even a text of, “Have a beautiful day!” Unfortunately, most emotions that come along with a break up are usually negative in the beginning, but stay positive and hang in there, because with time things will get better. Just like the song, time is a healer.

This isn’t an article about the top five ways to win your ex back or anything remotely close to that. Actually, I am going to do the complete opposite and point out ways to break it off nice and clean, even though it may seem like an impossible task with technology inhibiting your every move. Warning: you’ll need to take dire measures that may involve your Facebook account, so for all of you who deep down want to stop talking, texting and stalking your ex, this is for you.

First off, there are multiple things that you alone need to take control of and never do after a break up, those include:

1) Never Beg
Begging shows desperation, which is never attractive in the game of love. In case you have Facebook, I highly recommend that you do not write some sappy love lyric that everyone will know exactly who it’s supposed to be for. A wonderful BAD example would be, “Joe Michaels’ is Baby come back, you can blame it all on me.” Yes, you should probably give him credit for being repulsively clever, but there is a line and he surpassed it.

2) Do Not Try Jealousy
This is the most used yet least successful trick in the book. Trying to make your ex jealous almost always backfires, causing you to hurt more than your ex doe, because, sadly he just plain does not care. So before you post all those scandalous pictures of you and that guy getting jiggy with it at Saturday’s party, realize that not only will your ex see these pictures, but so will your entire Facebook network including Aunt Jan.

3) Do Not Spy On or Stalk Them
Stalking is a no no for obvious reasons…it’s just creepy. You can’t get more damaging than this. When you become a professional Facebook stalker, you have overstepped your boundaries into the world of what many would call an addition. If at all possible, please stop now before rehab is on your list of things to do. Plus, last time I checked, stalking is against the law. In case you need the term cleared up, even talking to your friend’s grandma’s dog walker’s little sister’s babysitter’s uncle’s nephew who just so happened to be your ex’s old roommate is considered stalking.

4) Don’t Keep In Touch
You need space, distance and time—talking like nothing has happened is always unhealthy, no matter what your situation is. Even looking through Facebook pictures of your ex will cause you to long for what you do not have. It’s important to cherish the memories, but not at this point when you are in such a delicate state of mind. Allow yourself the time to think clearly about the relationship.

I know what you’re thinking: easier said than done, but if you follow these rules it will save you six months of shamelessly writing the same thing in your journal twice a day—that’s approximately 248 journal entries. Just like your parents say, you are young, vibrant and full of life. There’s a long road ahead of you filled with beautiful women and men. Seriously, wasn’t it three good looking specimens that you scored numbers from just last week on one night of partying? If you keep that up, that’s a lot of numbers in a couple of years, unless you continue to follow the wall post, bumper sticker and poke trail of your ex. Get out of your cubicle of a room and let your friends distract you, not your Facebook. Plus, the best revenge on your ex is to truly be happy. So get started!